this text is just filler to avoid a lull in the conversation
i have a picture in my phone of you with a bottle of tequila in your back pocket. i believe you were saying "pocket of champions" or something along those lines
Do not buy whiskey under any circumstances. There should be a UN sanctioned buffer zone between me and Seagrams.
Target doesn't accept your signature for your credit card if you draw a dick on the pad. Even of your name is Richard.
Oh, and apparently I was butt ass naked and walked into the room where anna was skyping her dude in afghanistan and said "This is happening."
My 19 year old brother just hooked up with his 45 year old cougar kindergarten teacher. These sorts of situations make me realize why the sorority girls call him Wondercock
After the keg stand you collapsed, hit your head on the floor, started seizing and after 20 seconds got back up and said "hah, I remember my first beer"
This dude has batman tighty whities on over his cargo pants and he has the nerve to yell "fuck you bitch" up at my window.
I'm not snubbing your weed I just had a really important rack of ribs to get home to
I'm definitely closer to having sex in every building on campus than I am to having a post-graduation career/plan/future. Unless that future is getting fucked in lots of buildings. I got that shit on lock down.
Can you please stop having such an active social life? I'm tryna get fucked over here
You can’t homewreck what the Lord hath brought together.
Well when you come back we can have a huge bitch fit...or get really drunk....whichever comes first
She played the piano. I played the piano. She got on top of the piano. I got on top of her.
you poured beer in your mouth so you could be a beer pong cup for her to drink out of/make out with
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