I did that thing again where I get way too drunk and go gay. Then wake up in the morning and freak out at the person. Yet another bar I cannot go back to
new low, shannon just screamed FUCK THE IRISH to a 10 year old's face then proceeded to throw a hotdog at his parents. I think its time i take her home.
I want to frame my negative pregnancy test.
Is he smart?
Why would i know that. That would deal with the top half of his body. I only deal with the bottom half.
Anyways, i'm off to play with a rubber dick and a ouija board with two other girls...
Someone shattered a urinal.
$200 on plane. $110 on train. $5 per drink on plane. $15 per case on train. Plane 1 hour flight. Train 9 hour excursion. Hmmmmm.
We tried lying really still and being really quiet so that he wouldn't notice us before he left the room. Forgot about the glow in the dark condom.
Hope you had your fill for the summer my friend, because all the cleavage has been put away for the winter. Fear not; it blooms again in May.
I totally gave him head in sync to Beastie Boy's Sabotage playing in the background.
This little girl and her dad are walking behind me. "Why is he wearing pajamas?" Mind your own business, kid.
I just saw a kid on iowa campus story that looked like the guy i made out with on spring break.
Went up to some dude that hit on Laura and told him he has a voice like a grandma. Apparently didnt have muscles or kindness like grandma so can you pick me up at the ER please?
I dunno what to tell you sport. Short of having a shock collar on, you're gonna wanna hook up with people.
you pulled out seven eyelashes and made me count them multiple times whilst crying hysterically.
Randomize
