Can one do a walk of shame from one's own hotel? Considering I just barfed in a planter down town in from of a bunch of business men in suits on my way to a work breakfast on a Wednesday morning, I am gonna just go with yes.
So I tried to call my phone from his phone and was like, "hey, my name is not in here..I thought you had my number" turns out he has my number saved as "gives good head"
The smartest thing I've heard Obama do is call Kayne West a jackass
Knee deep in strippers, everything is comped. will try hard to be there at 8. i promise.
We should never set our expectations higher than pizza bagels cause then our night is bound to get better
Just got back from my 9:00 am class to find my roommate soaking her lifesaver gummies in vodka so she can have them for a snack in class later.
She paints her nails the color of the sheets of the last guy she slept with
i can't decided whether the fact that her nipples are bigger then her palms is a problem or not
Hypothetically, how much legal trouble do you think i will be in for stealing someone's dog?
you came out with your cock in between the legs of a balloon animal. Maybe she'll think you have a sense of humor.
What kind of balloon animal was it?
How did you get him out of the shower last time?
Order Taco Bell and leave a trail of burritos leading to his bed.
I apologize in advance for the number of sex toys drying on the bathroom sink.
Did I tell you guys I was bisexual last night? I just had a flashback
Smoking a bowl and ordering Dominos, you want in on either, both, or none?
I watched a compilation video today of a guy banging his sex doll to edm music. I just had to tell someone.
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