I have nothing to say, just wanted ur phone to vibrate
SEEEEXXX PLEASE
why is jon gosselin on the news 24/7 for dating some new lady?? how bout I get on msnbc for not getting laid since forever ago
i was puking in the toilet, he walked in and to talk to me and started puking in the sink.. Could this be my perfect man??
im pretty sure one of the guys i was dancing with at graffiti wrote on my back "you rock". now feel like a danced with a 5 year old.
threw up in my backpack again. Asian guy I cheat from wasn't pleased.
She was either really drunk or really not interested. Everytime I tried to ask her about herself she would respond with a line from Stepbrothers.
You need to get here now. Before they realize I'm not puerto rican.
I just realized how early it is, you're taking this booty call thing to a whole other level. also, there are altoids all over my room, that was weird
Its not gay if you're best friends and there's less than an inch of dick in the picture. That's where the line is drawn
Nothing quite like pre-gaming the Kentucky Derby with adderall and adderall. I'm fairly confident I could outrun all of these fucking horses in a foot race right now.
How are you going to come here and fuck on our couch ? That's everyones couch
Dude, there are some things that you can't un-see. Her, beached on a dog bed, is one of them.
I had to google some of the kinky sex shit she was telling me she was into.
If that is not a reason to propose to her then I don't know what is
If I'm not naked in the back of a cop car having sex by the end of the night, I did something wrong..
Randomize
