Well, its 5:30am and you haven't let me in, I guess ill go home
Single schmingle. No one actually obeys the relationship boundaries these days. Its 2009.
This whole foot fetish thing is getting out of control. He would rather hold my feet than me after we fuck.
Home remedy for the herp. Black tea. I need to strap teabags to my wang.
I have no idea what happened after 2 AM. I woke up on my bike, in my bed, with a deep thigh bruise.
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
Dude, its flawless. what could go wrong?
Jail. That could go wrong.
It's a given that you're going to get peed on at a country concert
I can dream in two languages, but it's still about ripping a bong.
We ended up at an Asian frat. I made out with two Mexicans at the same time and I pulled a muscle in my leg from twerking too low. Diversity.
I want to show up to tomorrow's study group looking like I got hit by a train. A train made of dicks.
I tell you, MacGyver never had to put up with people shitting themselves while he worked...
Just busted the chick who slept with my boyfriend with alcohol. God I love being an RA.
I'm not getting off this floor. I love this floor
I just woke up in a prom dress on your bathroom floor, yea I'm 32.
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