Steel Reserve is the RC Cola of alcohol. It's never ok.
The duggars are the reason premarital sex is ok. Because if you don't have it until marriage you have no self control when it happens. And 19 kids.
We George Forman grilled some girls phone last night.
I went with the blow up doll and I'm glad I did.
My therapist says she wants to work on my 'trust issues'. I think she's found the cash cow within.
All I remember was yelling at him, "Its becasue of people like you that it took us so long to get to the moon!"
She can't really be mad at me. I made you two sisters... Dick sisters.
Had dinner with my ex husband. The box of wine is gone and I'm laying on the floor in my wedding dress. Where are you?!
No, the real question is if you drink like I drink why WOULDN'T you wear a cape.
we've decided whoever is stupid enough to use the condom that's tacked to the wall deserves to get pregnant.
Hey remember that night when you sang Fergie to me? I think that's the exact moment in time when the thought "I could be faithful to this man" came into serious consideration.
I still can't believe he came down from his hiding place in the tree voluntarily because he didn't want us to have to talk to the cops alone...
I'm gonna drop in for a zip later man. It made me wanna eat my girls shampoo. Good shit
Please explain the hospital band on my wrist.
He said my vagina smelled like pomegranates. Its like my vagina is the fountain of youth.
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