There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
I dont think problem is the right word. Problems arent something you enjoy. Life would be too boring without gambling.
You fell asleep mid BJ last night. I put your pants back on you. My ego is pretty bruised this morning.
Jager Bombs are cool, but hydrogen bombs are where it's at. Sparks and jager equals instant black out, I mistakenly tried eating a cigarette thinking it was a nacho.
I don't know where my bra went.
Welll you ran into the street, took it off and yelled "I'm a free woman!". And then you threw it at some homeless guy.
Just called the bar: "hi this is the girl who you kicked out for excessive bleeding, do you happen to have my coat?"
I wanna die of smoke inhalation. In a huge teepee. Or one of those big things kids in kindergarten have that you throw up in the air then sit inside of.
I command you to take a shot and dance like the pretty little gay boy you are.
All i've had today is coffee and ketchup packets. I need a job like yesterday.
They used the ice bucket from their room to drink beer from and called it the "Holy Grail"
She couldn't understand why my walking in on her 70 year old parents ruined any chance of a boner for at least an hour. I think she's too slow for me to fornicate with.
Sorry for peeing on you and your bed last night.
She was wearing American flag underwear. How could I NOT fuck her?
You're a true patriot.
Can you face time me. I need to know if this pill is xanex or ecstasy
He's a douche. But I like the way he chokes me.
Randomize
