Dude i just saw JT leaving the hospital. He drove there to get fluids because he was too drunk, so they hooked him up to an IV so he didn't get alcohol poisoning. Did I mention he drove there? Oh yea and our roommates in the hospital with alcohol poisoning, she just puked up coal. So many ppl are here, it's like a hospital party, I love spring quarter!
I want to make Jon&Kate babies with him. Not in quantity, but in percentage asian.
You put a thong on my pumpkin didn't you.
I don't remember. I remember laying in the trunk of a car. For hours.
When the tupperware hit the highway it was like a vomit bomb
Kegger tonight. 10pm. $5 coverfor unlimited booze. Proceeds benefit nuns from Uganda. Bring friends. No shit.
Legitimate logistical question....how did you pee in your duct tape dress?
There are flashing lights and a man dressed as Santa with a bullhorn in my cul de sac.
I'm not sure if this is awesome or scary.
I let a naked juice spill down my leg for like 30 minutes bc i thought i was hallucinating that my leg was cold.
I accidentally got a lemon stuck in your bong. I was trying to make it taste good. Sorry
If anyone wants to ring in the new year with gluttony and yoga pants, let me know. As soon as it becomes a socially acceptable hour to drink margaritas, I'm gonna go down on a chimichanga.
Buy Actually if the police need to find my body I'm on an air mattress in an apartment near a McDonald's that's all I see out dat Window
I mean we don't talk anymore but I still see him around wearing that sweater he stole from me after we had sex
A young (I'm going to guess late middle school age) kid shouted at me from the crosswalk GAS PUMP OF SHAME! I have peaked in life.
i'm extremely hungover on the ski bus and the driver is playing abba. this. is. not. okay.
Randomize
