I need a shot of tequila, and quick death
Imagine two people making love on top of a unicorn . . . my life is the opposite of that.
new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
I think the phrase "baptist college" should be an oxymoron.
There are no words to adequately express my gratitude for sending me porn you found staring a former classmate.
Well, she opened the door to puke outside the car, but she threw it open so hard it popped back and hit her in the face.
You should've come out last night, I need someone to explain why the bartender tried to strangle me...
Meanwhile I am sitting on the couch with a 32 ounce rum and coke trying to decide if I'm too drunk to go get french fries.
I cant believe they held hands while getting simultaneous bjs
Also when they left they could only find one sock between the two of them. Apparently we're like crazy sock ripping vixens when we bring guys home drunk
You made me pull over because you thought a leaf was a twenty rolling across the road.
My roommate walked in naked grabbed my hand and pulled me into her room to see her randoms dick.
I called to inform you I may or may not be getting laid tonight ...
My manager is trying to help me find a good career path, and I'm trying to find a professional way to tell him I just wanna smoke and fuck.
Grandma said I got a good handjob. I think she meant manicure.
Randomize
