moral of the story: I'm going to stab everyone
remember earlier when I said I was over sex with random boys? take it back take it back take it back
just weighed my balls on my pocket scale. that high.
hell no. last time, i couldn't pee straight for a week.
How many layers of skin can you loose before it becomes bad?
get over here soon, theyre throwing bbeers at us from the roof. keyword : throwing
you might as well be a hobo. you were covered in pee last night hanging out on the stairs drunk.
right. well we all have our lows.
No clues in my phone. Only dialed call: my own social security number. And that was before 10:00pm.
If the cops knock on your door and ask if you saw anyone throw an orange out the window I was never there.
he calls himself the gay cupid because he matches two guys looking to hookup on craigstlist with each other. get me out of here. please.
Trying to figure out if the guy I'm with right now is the same guy I met spring break
Oh duude it is the guy from spring break! Awk.
Seriously bro? Indoor roman candle wars? I guess I'll never see that fucking security deposit again
So, my eyeglasses somehow ended up in my nightstand drawer and they're covered in lube.
its 2pm and were already starting beer pong...its gonna be a good night
i looked that guy up on facebook. the one who went down on me for two hours
what's the verdict
i've been scrubbing my vag all morning
Randomize
