I just want to know how you cleaned her puke off the twister mat with no gloves. And didn't throw up
bio was interesting today. swabbed my mouth to see what the cells where, ha. found a sperm cell. he was just that awesome
Her facebook status is 'PERCS ON DECKKK~' which is probably why she still lives with her parents.
They had an entire room dedicated to passed out people. It was like a dogpile of cross faded toddlers drooling on each other.
The Fresno prostitute seemed offended all I wanted from her was directions back to the freeway.
I cant yet im literally covered in lube but I will later
Dude's from Puerto Rico. Majoring in Spanish is like us majoring in drinking with a minor in watching Forgetting Sarah Marshall.
I've woke up in his bed 4 out of the past 6 mornings. I feel like this might be the time to learn more about him then his first name and what kind of beer he drinks.
I want "hickeys on my ass" sex
my mom just told me I should hit it and quit apparently she does not like this new girl
he left a full can of coors light underneath my windshield wiper, like a love note. if that's not husband material, i don't know what is
All you need is a handful of lube and an open mind
I know its 2 in the morning and everything. But i just straight up yelled "DON'T YOU UNDERSTAND THIS WORLD IS DIFFICULT ENOUGH AS IT IS WITHOUT YOU PULLING THIS BULLSHIT ON ME" to my taco. Because it fell apart on me. I think i might be cracking under this finals pressure.
So many questions...the two most important are, where the fuck is my booze and how did you even get the couch through the door?
Btw I thought it was impossible to use up 48 bottles of patron in one night but I was wrong...
Randomize
