How do you jack off and text at the same time?
On my iPhone they have an app for that
I'm home now. bring me food and boobies
I had to remind him that there is no "age exchange rate" between the u.s. and spain, and that 16 will always equal 16
i used baking grease as lip gloss
threw up in the library. i should be embarrassed, but i'm willing to bet that i'm one of the first so i'm kinda proud.
hes either a crazy bad problem or a crazy good orgasm. I just can't decide which one.
shes on the ground doing bicycle kicks screaming "is my ass good enough for you now satan" send help
I don't like sad things. I do like drinking though
The highlight of the night was when he yelled "WAS THIS CONDOM MADE FOR TODDLERS??"
The German just referred to my vagina as the Great Barrier Reef and that he was going to go diving in it.
Sorry, It's like OkCupid Olympics... categories: best sext, best dick pic, and most effort by ugly. You won gold in the last event if that makes you feel better.
Well, while we went through airport security, I found out Mom got her clit pierced, so there's that.
also I was promised more toga parties by popular media
Remember how I have such good luck that it's almost bullshit?
I'm afraid to ask, but go on.
I couldn’t resist. He had a camouflage condom. You know I love a man in a uniform
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