Who has a tranny cab driver? I have a tranny cab driver.
I have no memory of puking on someone. Was he cute?
you win again, gameday.
He smothers me through text. I can't even image what he'd be like in person.
Seriously, I was a high class hooker. I was snorting shit Rachel, white powder, lines formed with credit cards, the dudes house was beautiful. Magnum condom. Adorable puppy dog. Pretty sure at some point I was sleeping on a washing machine. Boxing Gloves.
Those were the highlights of my night.
I mean two cocks this time. Trust me, I'm not gonna pull the same stunts as last time in this situation
This hurricane was the perfect excuse to buy 2 pounds of animal crackers and a case of beer. It's on Sandy.
Can we put this graduation on the shelf figuratively and go drink
He barged in the room with no shirt on, all fucking ripped with a half keg under one arm. Sara now calls him Bronan the Beerbarian
But for real, I had the best sex of my life on that bunk bed
Yeah we do. It needs to be like a good penis- long, substancial, and able to make people cry.
My boobs looked so good under the black light I saw a girl physically cover her boyfriend's eyes.
I've just been thinking about sangria a lot lately, like an adult.
I have like three friends I don't have sex with, what did you expect
you ass-dialed me while you were fucking my ex.
that was on purpose.
Randomize
