we're drinking boxed wine and eating string cheese. It's like a wine tasting for poor people.
I love wearing low cut shirts cuz then when class gets boring, I can look down and admire my breasts.
Just gave my manager part of my viccodin stash-my job is basically secured forever.
im not picky. i just want someone whod go down on me while im writing my psych midterm paper. thats not a lot to ask.
He came into the hospital yelling "HEY EVERYBODY! REMEMBER ME?"
We fed your dog hot wings then gave it some Bud light to drink. You're right. Dogs are fun.
Please stop leaving drunk voicemails with your new black/Irish accent.
mind if i send you a dick pic? so you can see what she wasn't doing right?
I decided not to eat, and then this man was my fairy " don't black out" godmother
Just gave my pregnant cat a safe sex talk. That high.
He came over and watched the USA game with me, fucked me so good my toe cramped, then made my bed this morning before he left. Thank God for Army rangers
Does your drug dealer have a printer I can use??
Im selling my dirty underwear to pay for that cruise. NO JUDGEMENT . I love you lol ❤❤ also dont tell anyone
That means I have to put pants on. That is not something I am willing to do right now.
I'm basically doing the Walk of Shame without the added bonus of having sex last night. That doesn't look good on anyone.
Randomize
