i am not listening to taylor swift on a pink ipod. totally not happening.
Last night at the bar my fuck buddies found out about each other.
Wtf? What happened?
Not quite sure but they rock, paper, scissored to see who was taking me home.
my quiz for the book was only 2 questions and my one answer was sorry and then a sad face
hey quick question, what would you consider to be a "first date" porn?
Drank another frat president under the table. Thinking of starting my own, gonna call it Alpha Phi Alcoholics
You stood next to him taking HUGE gasps of air in an attempt to second hand smoke his cig because you didn't have one...
I bet. I bought a surfboard and a kite and filled my camelback with vodka-tonics. Let's do this
just threw up what i'm pretty sure look like contents of a lava lamp
Ugh I hate you, and the responsible adult life I pretend to have during daylight hours
Sorry about flashing you in front of your mom.
You realize that if you get murdered while we're talking, I'm gonna have to explain to your next of kin why the last thing on your phone is a picture of my boobs.
Let's be honest, I'm cooking chicken nuggets in my Helm jersey and underwear who has their life more together than me?
I just want a simple guy who likes cats, tattoos, and doing coke off my tits.
How drunk you think somebody has to be, that they think that putting out a profile pic like that can be even a slightly good idea?
So, I just found out Ireland, is #1 in binge drinking. I know its Sunday but this one is for America.
Randomize
