Where are you?
In a non slutty way
just watched paranormal activity stoned. laughed the whole time and screamed when they turned on the lights. eating doritos. I love my life
what made it akward was his girlfriends dog watching us have sex
She jerked me off while she drove us back from Denver going 70mph. It was both the scariest and most erotic moment of my life.
She was so adorably desperate I didn't have the heart to tell her I wasn't a lesbian. So now She's making waffles, may switch teams over this.
Of course, I believed he would find me irrestible...sloppy drunk, chugging from a bottle of chardonnay, and completely naked because those kids stole my clothes as I was swimming on their private beach
I guess on the plus side everyone really, really enjoyed my nipple clamps
Also, last night I had a dream that I was in a victoria's secret fashion show and they made me wear a t-shirt over my lingerie. Spring dieting begins now.
You haven't puked in my sink in over a year.. Youre coming over this weekend
Reached a new low. Drinking Wine from my thermos while on the stair master.
On the plus side, I got cel phone video of a major fox news host doing coke.
you stole two subs and a drink from jimmy johns and walked out yelling "get at me bitches"
Why did this happen to me why did I have to meet him if I could go back in time I never would have grabbed his dick
The only downside to doctor sex is that getting choked with a stethoscope leaves marks.
I just found your shirt hanging in a tree 4 blocks from the party...in the opposite direction of your house. where are you going?
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