i barfeds in our rink
I literally had to tap out of the blow job. It was like a pornographic wrestling match
EMERGENCY: IS A KAREOKE RICKROLL ACCEPTABLE IN THE YEAR 2011?
If we break up, I want weekend visitations with your penis.
I no longer see him as a simple set of male genitalia attached to a very sexy body. The title "trophy fuck" seems wrong. Damn.
Hey man, I found your crocs and your visor in the road. Got em for you.
Can we go to the gas station to get cigarettes before we get drunk. It's hard enough to say Marlboro sober.
The first guy I ever sexted is having a baby.. Is this what adulthood feels like?
His favorite stripper is going to jail. He's taking it pretty hard
He sang a ten minute song about me sitting on his face and eating quesadillas. Pretty sure I have to marry him.
listen I will take literally anything I can get my tiny gay fingers on
That car ride home was pretty awkward. Your feeling up the girlfriend to the guy who's throwing up out the window. Thanks for that.
I woke up to an email from expedia confirming my flight to hong kong
there's a giant awkward home-wrecking elephant in the room. and its name is meg.
Not to be hella graphic on main but I just came so hard I think I saw a new color.
Randomize
