Right on... I dropped my chapstick
I blacked out
Brandy, I need a picture of your boobs. Not time to explain.
I didn't realize he wasn't circumcised... it looked like the Unibomber...
He considered it romantic when he told me mid-blow job that no matter what happens, he will "never forget how good of a dick I suck". Verbatim.
I walked out of the store holding my face and a lady pulled her daughter away from me as I then threwup in the parking lot
Ha, I bet. You tipped the waitress like 10 bucks for a glass of water.
My parents are takin me for chinese food for my 4/20 present.
I fucking hate you.
By the way. I expect to test the theory of you running a mile drunk for memorial day.
He offered to let her do a line of coke off his hard-on. She said she'd had that hard-on and it would be a bump, not a line. Everyone laughed. That's why he left.
So that answers the first question but not the second: how the fuck am I getting home?
I need a full description of the guy I hooked up with. I don't think I ever saw his face
he seemed brazillian..
fuck.
thanks again for a nice night (and please don't fuck my boss)
I made a bong out of my deodorant today. Did you?
New Orleans is just like you. Dirty but beautiful and will always have a special place in my heart
The fact that a spice girls song is stuck in my head is a great sign that my decisions aren't the right ones at the moment...
Ok, there are marshmallows shaped like elephants
Randomize
