I see my mary-anne walkin' awa-y-y! Bow Nahw now new, ne ne ne ne ne, ne ne nehw, ne ne new new Nah dan ah bwawn-now, ba bwan'll buh dada bwiddly doo.
That was supposed to be me air guitaring the solo from More than A Feeling
I hope im prettier
yea, just so you know this whole self-loathing thing is getting pretty fucking annoying
I'm actually pretty neutral about a lot of things. I'm like Switzerland with a penis.
oh hey just found a glowstick in my tits. fuck yes new years eve
she's sitting here naked with heels and a taco.
You tried to sled down the middle of the street. In. Your. Coat. Of course you are bruised.
I just dropped off shoes at Mike's hotel. The chick he hooked up with last night stole his phone and shoes.
i feel like this needs to be a 'lose some teeth' kind of weekend.
That's the point of day drinking, get fucked up by 6pm so you can get stuff done the next day. It's the adult thing to do.
Remember those girls from the bar? The tall and short blondes?
Is this a story I am going to hate you for?
I donkey kicked that mother fucker. Never stood a chance.
It was a door. A completely inanimate object, of course it didn't stand a chance you idiot.
I think the exact words were 'I'd lett him to the weirdest shit to me'
I'm convinced he's the patron saint of oral sex
jusy threw up in the airport bathroom. I am no longer thankful for fireball.
I'm not in bed, I'm driving and puking at the same time.... first for everything
Randomize
