is it really weird I just got "suckable tits" in my honesty box and I'm flattered??
my sex list reads like a who's who of mcdonald's general managers
It's like trying to pry an octopus off you. Except the octopus speaks English and can get drunk.
it's official, i know exactly what cross streets we're at by the bumps when i give him road head
We fucked on top of all of our English papers in celebration of the semester ending.
triple team girl just facebook chatted me. do i tell her i had a nice time?
thanks for waiting 12 hours to ask if I was in a ditch or not
You have permanently scared my back with your nails. I would like to congratulate you on a job well done.
You know when the three of us hug it out in the alcohol isle in walmart it's gonna be fun.
I just want to pat him on the head, bake him some cookies, and reassure him that, someday, he will get laid.
He had really great hair, but he told me he's been in a psych ward three times. I mean I know I'm a psych major, but that's too much.
you know you're a stoner girl when you get a callus from your grinder
Did your grand seduction include learning to play careless whisper on a kazoo or was that just a hobby
He passed out with his shoes on 20 minutes till midnight, and I didn't have a sharpie so I took the cheese whiz and filled his exposed ass crack.
We left Waffle House and he took off running five miles down the road saying we were "training for the Olympics." And I mean, I couldn't leave him out there like that...
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