im insabelyl wasted and diont know if ill yexyed tou. call me
i pounded out a 17-yr-old on saturday night
no, that is not a typo
i turned her down on fri night, googled the state consent laws & then caved on saturday
Also, did that cop draw hearts on everyone's hands last night?
I caught him with his head in the spinach bag this morning. He was laughing demonically saying, "i love spinach, yes I do."
The strip clubs here are like a safari of penis, and I'm gonna bag me a rhino.
so he had an ashton kutcher Kelso haircurt. dude, we're in our mid to late 20s, I don't think we can ridicule guys for having hair anymore.
STOP SETTING ME UP WITH GUYS YOU MEET ON CRAIGSLIST
Well I just finished dry heaving so I think breakfast is a little further out for me
he told me he didn't like my name so he was going to call me Casey instead
2017 is my year to realize stuff. Move over Kylie Jenner
If walking through the neighborhood with a bottle of tequila and margarita mix is postgrad life, I'm okay with it
Isn't it funny how we're still best friends after that incident with the old lady in the bathroom
You fucking bailed on me. But I love you still
Just motorboated this 18 year old girl at the bar. The first time was my idea the other 3 she made me. Maybe turning 27 won't be so bad. Haha.
You've got the chocolate, drugs and my pants. You hold all the cards...
He has to be employed and covid free. That’s my standard. I can’t be picky. 2020 has killed my sex life.
Randomize
