So she farted while we were having sex but I was afraid she would stop because she was emberessed so i just went ahead and took the blame and apologized
and then I told him he looked like the Gordon's Fisherman dude. I don't think he thought it was funny, because he 'forgot' to pay for my beer.
We agreed on being friends w/ benefits. Lets see if that really happens.
Ok, so that was not supposed to go to u, my bad. I feel horrible.
Having him eat chocolate out of you is not as romantic as it sounds. I'm still finding pieces.
she trying to cartwheel up the stairs... not going so well
In related news, I couldn't want to blow you more if your dick made harmonica noises.
I feel like he has a double life, why was he walking around at 3 am with a backpack?
She gatecrashed the wedding and managed to get an invite to the open bar reception. Lucky bitch
They way I see it is I've wasted 7 years of having these glorious tits. I only have about 3 good years left before idk kids or just gravity takes over and they don't look this nice so it's basically open season.
WTF I can't even get a boyfriend here and you're getting nudes from across the country
I have chicken nuggets, lube and brand new batteries, he can stay at work charting all weekend for all I care, I'm set.
I'm having shoppers remorse over a dildo
Don't be upset because I bitch slapped you with intelligence
Stoner thoughts are the only thoughts I want to have now.
i think it’s okay to see him. you just can’t wind up with his penis in your mouth again
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