His pickup line was "I'll eat you out"
He did it well too
boyfriend complimented me on my new prada shoes today. he is officially either gay or the man im gonna marry. knowing my luck it's all of the above.
life lesson# 3: saying thank you on a subway really means "im not a native new yorker, so please feel free to touch my ass"
hmm. interesting. explain how you came across this knowledge.
i sneezed. he said bless you. i said thank you. he groped. i again said thank you.
Our teacher totally just got outed in class by a speaker from some lesbian cooperative house
i was so blacked out at my family party.. my mom gave markers to all my little cousins. i was tagged by 5 year olds.
Girl next to me just ralphed in a bag. Congrats class of 2010
haha it staarrted out with just getting drunk then it turned into sports authority. So now im 4th or 5th in line and shit faced. Help me
I'm gonna go out on a limb and say it had something to do with pool sex.
Food poisoning on first date... Still rode the mechanical bull like a champ
I don't know how or when he is sober long enough to donate plasma
I'm not sure... But I think I just found a porno I starred in during my black out week of '08.
You know my vagina and my heart have a mind of their own even when it’s pouring snow.
We were trying to organize all the customers to hold a window pickle race. as of 10:37 pm last night we are no longer allowed in our McDonalds.
He’s tiny, hairless and humps my leg when he wants sex. He’s basically a chihuahua
It was like he was 23 all over again. Madness. I. was. so. scared.
Randomize
