cab driver gave us mini bottles of jd for the ride home & proceeded to run every red light. wonder how many bottles he drank.
So, it's like build-a-bear for your vag?
I will one day have loud vengeance sex as my revenge against you. Until then I'm just going to sit in the living room playing John Mayer while you're trying to do it.
How come I'm the only one who's around when people show up? I had just taken a shit, I wasn't wearing pants, phantom of the opera was playing and the fridge said PENIS.
you drew a penis with ranch dressing. tried to take a picture of it and dropped your phone in it. Then made moaning sounds while you licked it off.
Sex tent. say it aloud its amazing. promise you we rnt stoned.
Just slept with a female bodybuilder. not cute. but it was like fucking hulk hogan with a twat. Beastly.
im so disgusted with myself. funny thing was i lasted 15 seconds. she benches 325
my math prof is telling us what to do in a gun fight. i dont want to live in oakland anymore.
You and the dog were competed for the water dish
Another development in my life...I think I pulled a muscle in my neck from vomiting this weekend.
If you sleep with another manager before the year is up you'll deserve an accomplishment sticker.
I can't give advice right now, I have a yeast infection.
Did you get your nipples pierced? I felt something poking through my shirt earlier and I really didn't want to say anything in front of your grandma...
As you were leaving you yelled at the owners that the stairs weren't suitable for "intoxacapated" people and promptly fell down them.
So I WAS right.
Hopefully he gets to dig deep into my body, before he digs deep into my past ..
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