So i just found out i replied to my room mates craigslist ad. Akward
she gave up head for lent, but she said sex was still fair game
I wish we could skip the pretense of being normal and just start drinking wine with breakfast
There's a really old guy here with a really young girl. I'm guessing he has to make choo choo train noises to get his dick in her mouth.
Everything sucks i just wanna cry and smoke a bowl and pet my cat and die. All at the same time
Awkward family moment #1: walked in on my 15 yr old nephew packing a bowl. Nephew says- "lets not ruin christmas and keep this our little secret"
The last thing I remember is sitting in a chair and him hand feeding me bell peppers
We will. we just need a little inspiration.... in smoke form.
Trying to figure out the logistics of putting my laptop speakers on this plate with the last slice of pizza. Too drunk to move the plate. Not an option.
Thought I was doing makeup today for a photo shoot for a short film. WRONG. Try I'm on the set for a Fucking Sci-Fi PORN.
It bothers me when I see my old fuck buddies starting families on Facebook.
What drinking game we play yesterday? Fight club or something?
I'm kinda sad I'm leaving the bank. I never got to have rough sex in the vault.
god i just can't wait for finals to end so i can just masturbate all day and night
not even sure this counts as hungover but like my body can't exist in reality today
Randomize
