Yo I'm just eating dinner now. U ready to go out?
Ya ya. Where you eating?
Cereal and beer. U kno u want in.
when did we get to this "texting at random" level on friendship?
i watch way too much csi for them to even pretend to be my friend.
A kid wearing a Batman belt buckle in my psych class just asked how people get pee fetishes. I'm too high for this.
They don't exactly give out small business loans to start-up dealers
I really thought you were going to tell me you were pregnant on facebook chat. FACEBOOK CHAT. I almost cried.
So there I was praying he didn't go limp again, choking on a long, long gray ball hair. This is my Saturday night. This. Is. My. Life.
I'm about to pick up E from underneath a random doormat.......how is this remotely normal?
Now that I'm hitting my bong, I realized I haven't missed something so much in a long time. I love Thomas the Dank Engine.
I'm glad I get the same reaction from you for cookies and for my naked body
trust me, you don't know shame until you're in a peacock costume getting CPR by random dudes
The last thing I remember was wearing a sombrero and trying to do cartwheels in the club
You did one successfully. Then smashed into the wall
Looked like a bag of smashed assholes and smelt like a brewery - still got morning sex. Marriage rules sometimes!
I did all i could do but i woke up smelling like cigars and theres salsa all over my face
On a unprofessional note, there's a new girl in photo.
That wasn't unprofessional. The fact that I'm going to fuck her is unprofessional.
Randomize
