I shampoo & condition my pubes, sometimes i wish my face was closer so i could rub against it cause it feels like plush
He bought me ice cream and then I gave him a bj
I think that's fair trade off
'in an unhealthy relationship' should def be an fb option
I got it! After our exam we take shots for every question we skipped!!!
I don't wanna die...
when i was alone, his dick was there for me...
he made a joke about you fucking his daughter...i think youre golden
It doesn't matter if I tell the story beginning to end or end to beginning, the story still starts with a random girl blowing me in the bathroom.
let's remember the whole point of NYE: to drink antisocial amounts of antisocial drinks, become incoherent, ruin a carpet, talk to a tree, wake up with head sellotaped to toilet. The where/how is superfluous, my vote goes to a cupboard and a bottle of jaeger Questions?
All I've had today is a brownie and a shot of Jack, so you know. I'm doing ok.
Hey girl, do you remember you made me brush your hair with a plastic fork on Saturday night?
YOU DON'T JUST GET TO CALL AND SAY YOU MIGHT BE DEAD, THEN NOT ANSWER!
He's a loser but she says we just don't see the good stuff about him. It's like she's dating the Charlie Brown Christmas Tree.
What do you expect from her? Do you remember that creepy man she dated who saturated a pillowcase in his musky cologne and mailed it to her and she still slept with him.
Whatever. I just want to indulge in this mcchicken and forget all about his tiny penis.
I just want to nap all the time and eat Chinese food.
Randomize
