Taking a 35 year old indonesian home, only in vegas ;-)
I just woke up surrounded in unopened snacks
dude, your ex-bf is on match.com
details on that.
well, his profile doesn't say anything about herpes.
You told her the u were going to wrap your dick around her neck and start her like a lawn mower. thats why she left.
So then I told him that only a restaurant managed by a florida fan could run out of ketchup
Agreed. Everyone should experience a blackout before 3pm in their lifetime.
This adderall has me convinced I'm an Econ major.
There will be two dogs there to provide supervision. Not to worry.
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK FUCKABLE IN AN ALL NEON SPANDEX JUMPSUIT?
I walked in on him successfully eating chips and masturbating at the same time. I don't know whether I should be ashamed or proud.
If I die young bury me in satin. And make sure there's a taco bar at my funeral.
so it took us like 45 minutes to get into the party.... then when we wanted to leave we were blocked and forced to stay.
....you got kicked INTO a party??
I don't give a shit if you judge. This isn't about you or anyone else. This is about me and my chicken tenders.
He's on the porch naked. Help.
I'm pretty sure he sprained my clit...
Randomize
