i had a dream last night that you and i organized a foursome. swear to god
ps i'll be in miami in early july. this text has no relation to the last one
New word for getting laid so we don't sound like whores in public when we are talking about it : stamp the passport
You don't have to be emotionally available for a blow job.
if you ever come into my room screaming for me to set up rockband at 4:45 am ever again i will kill you
I just peed on my pajamas. Its gonna be a long night. Don't forget the cookies.
You used the best tools you had at your disposal.
Slutty, slutty tools.
He sent me a picture of his dick earlier so now we can all laugh at him tomorrow
The fire department told the police that I was inside the burning building trying to pee in the rest of the electrical Outlets. Booyaka.
she came back from her house with A paper cut , a 2liter of sprite with Bacardi , and half a mustache . we're inviting her more ofte
A milkman. But instead of milk I'm delivering marijuana. And instead of a milk truck it's an armored car.
You're a weed delivery man, in an armored car?
Our DD will meet us there. The strippers are sending a limo to pick him up. He promised them New Years Eve massages. Said he would still drive us home.
This love triangle bullshit is getting out of hand. It's now a love polygon and I want out
I also told the bartender he probably had a beautiful spleen
the guy next to you kind of looks like a penguin. i'm going to fuck him
how do do this?
do what? Keep standing? Choose between 2 guys?
keep making boys cry?
Randomize
