It's not a real calculator it's a math calculator
I introduced my face to asphalt last night. They didn't get along.
he started yelling "this is my pussy" mid thrust
WHY WOULD YOU LET ME MAKE THAT MUCH NOISE DURING SEX IN RESIDENCE ?!
I tried to push your face into the pillow but then you kicked like a donkey.
I love tequila.
How could you give up sex for lent? I gave up religion for lent years ago and never looked back. Or give up civility, not sex.
You challenged yourself to walk backwards all the way to the bar... And you did
Just ate a chocolate chip cookie upside down. This is what having a degree does for you.
Besides you're a Tennessee fan and it'd be against my religion to have your penis inside me today.
Some rando guy literally just put my shoes on and tied them for me because I'm drunk... Is this what it feels like to be a princess?
He'll only communicate through snapchat with pictures of him holding his cat or his dick. Bit of Russian roulette opening them in public but I did it anyway.
I slept like a rock because of your dick. I'll thank him personally later.
Like I just wanted some midlife crisis fun, not drama as big as his dick.
Who put my cat in the fridge?
you're telling me you don't want to have sex 30,000 feet above the earth?
i am not an asshole. i paid for her to take a cab home.
dude, we were in ann arbor. she's from cincinnati. ten bucks didn't even get her back on I-94. i maintain my position. you are indeed an asshole.
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