i effin hate jeff goldbloom.
but i totally would still bang him
the $20 limit for secret santa doesn't apply to me cause you know a half gram of coke is more than $20
We glued Jenga blocks together, called it "magic blocks" and sold it to the stoners for $50 and a bottle of Henny
Well, they emptied out the keg by the third kegstand for America.
im sorry but you know it was a good night when you got tasered on the ass and didnt even feel it
You will not judge me for my made-up holiday of wine appreciation day
So I'm trying to figure out if starting the day running around the quad in a black t-shirt and bikini w/ a drawn on mustache is a good way to start the day...
I packed spaghetti and rum. But panties? Nah
Did the vodka turn my hair yellow or did something else happen last night?
When you get a chance, you should call Nick. He REEAAAALLLLLY wants to hear you make chewbacca noises.
My jeans are ripped and her glitter was all over me.. My walk of shame looked like I fucked a unicorn last night
Children cease to be precious when they crap their shorts in the pool I exercise at.
Got kicked out of the club and woke up at a frat house. Good night? Couldn't tell you. I got a date out of it I'm glad someone thinks my drinking problem is cute.
You went into my bathroom put on my bathrobe.. Said excuse me then went in my front yard and started yelling who ate my whopper..
You aaa... you ever forget to wipe your ass?
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