3.50 mugs at the bar.
Nah man, im with an ugly chick. Im waiting til everyone's drunk enough tonight, they don't notice.
How ugly, and does she have friends?
i just heard a guy call his kid "Google" in a way that leads me to believe that's his name. this day couldn't get worse.
it will be a sad day when drinking racks of keystone isnt socially acceptable anymore
his blackberry tasks were 1. take names and 2. kick ass
I mean I had a leg brace. It would have been irresponsible for me to be on top.
All she was asking was for you to describe your coat so she could get it, but you kept yelling at her so the security threw you out.
You're going to the beach with me so we can have beach sex whether you like it or not. Get over it. Kthx.
I have six drafts of messages to you that just say "blood" and I have no idea where they came from.
captain&coke to the library. STAT. this is an emergency. this is not a drill. I repeat: THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
she used teeth so i didnt tell her when i was cumming ...........dont get mad get even
Oh my god. I just RAN OVER a child. Oh my god this isnt my day. That kid was cool as fuck though
Day drinking is so dangerous way too many construction workers out there to flirt with
Drunkness level: fluent in olde norse
There comes a point, as I lay on the floor of the work disabled toilets contemplating catching 10 minutes sleep between chunders, that I wonder if its really worth it
I'VE LOST MY DIGNITY, MY PRIDE, AND EVEN MY BOOTY CALL. HAPPY THANKSGIVING.
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