all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
He's telling me stories about how he made out with a 14 yr old when he was 22. I'm going home.
When I'm drunk i like to pretend my penis is zeus and instead of peeing i'm throwing lightning bolts into the toilet...it helps me focus.
i might even pee on it at walmart i am so nervous
Vodka + horseback riding = vomit in the saddle bags
New major. Tourism Management. I dont know what it is but it sounds like something all the stupid slutty failed business management majors do.
who put toothpaste on EVERY doorknob in my house?!
90 persent of me said don't pee on that fake plant. Buyt i did
That's because "bed time" is my sex playlist. If you're trying to fall asleep use "nap time"
I just had a full choir singing the phrase pudding cup in my head. Too. Stoned.
I'm mumbling to people and trying not to accidentally shit my pants
Because I can't get laid, I'm day-drinking and hunting squirrels in the backyard. You can take the girl out of Montana...
Walk back down Church toward Mass Ave. Take a right and head for the guy in a kilt on top of the really tall unicycle. C u soon!
hey man , the girl you brought home last night is in the kitchen puking in the sink and asking if she can have more shots of Whiskey....think i should give her a shot glass or send her home....
I couldn't be more proud to be a cougar. Just wondering how these twenty somethings learned how to fuck so well? Must be porn.
Randomize
