Does my status still say I suck cocks? I don't know how to change it
Night. I'll wake u up at 6 with the unfinnished vodka bottle so be prepared young grasshoper. U have much to learn.
I will always remember that night by waking up in that tablecloth the next morning
Indoor beer darts at Rafs just turned into a trust exercise of putting your hand on the wall and closing your eyes while the other throws.. Almost gave Cale a Tracheotomy
Im about to smoke a huge bowl. My penis is so happy. Who needs girls.
I'm ok. I've got the pantsless-with-dignity thing down pat
You've seen the quality of dick pics I normally get. The bar is high.
How's my sex life is me mastubating next to her dog. that's how it's going.
I may have just masturbated while on hold with the IRS. don't judge me
do you know of a way I can die but like NOT die? like not being unconcious, just ascending to an astral plane for a few weeks or months in real world time so i can sort my issues out away from the rigors of life kinda deal, you know?
I haven't even lived here for 24 hours yet, and I've already banged someone. My new hoe life is off to a great start.
Girl behind me in line at CVS was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan B soon she might be a mom and that if we couldn't tell she'd be a horrible mom
I had sex while watching Lord of the Rings last night. I think I just reached a new level of nerd.
I feel like 20 angels jizzed in my mouth. This cupcake is DELICIOUS!
If that pentatonix bullshit is playing when I get home we're breaking up
Randomize
