We're gonna have to suck it up and start making out for free drinks. No homo. I'm watching Tyra "I kissed a girl and I got free drinks."
Let's do it. All homo
ps... at the end of one of the videos you yell "let's do the eiffel tower again.. i'll be in the middle!" .. i almost died lolol
def just vomited mimosa in the gym trashcan. i weigh less already so i say its been a solid workout.
Mother nature decided I wasn't going to be a whore today. Fuck her.
Sorry for walking in on you guys last night. FYI I have a bruise on my forehead from having the door slammed in my face. I deserved it.
Man, just talk to her friend and help me out. Otherwise we go home alone
I'd rather jerk off with a hand full of bumble bees then talk to her
She tried to leave the threesome and I heard you yell "Hey! We don't quit at halftime!"
I couldn't find pants for like 20 minutes so I was butt ass naked just sitting on your floor
it was also funny because at one point I woke up with my hands tied with a belt and we were both like what the fuck
yea plus he's gonna be wearing his gumby costume so that'll take a lot of pressure off too
Mark my words I will never date another cop again. I don't care if he's JESUS.
I left after he drunkenly went into the kitchen and started to make eggs with a shitload of garlic. First time I'd ever had a makeout session interrupted by eggs.
Aka I'm headed to the liquor store because I don't know how to handle my emotions.
U dont jog and buy condoms n bulk
The economy isn’t reopen until I can get drunk and motorboat fake tits at lunch on a Wednesday
Randomize
