Even my Mr Clean Magic Eraser can't make last night disappear.
i was concerned for your health after you took your "last shot" four times...
I knew you would eventually ask my secret. Pedialite mix drinks. Works wonders.
He came for an unexpected visit and let's just say I shattered his illusion that girls don't watch porn
High water is the most godliest tasting water in the world.
lesson #1 of freshman year: grinding with a sombrero is difficult
she gave me her number and i just said "no. cant."
It really does creep me out though that the next ten years will involve my friends creating smaller versions of themselves because to be honest I don't know how much I like some of them. So that thought it really scary
I guess she fell asleep at the strip club and the other one was crying because she had a vagina in her face. Happy 21st!
Just keep in mind that she didn't start telling you you had the largest penis she had ever seen until AFTER she found out about your multi-million-dollar trust fund.
They had to take me to the ER because I got a concussion in a parking garage. Not partying with lesbians for a while
What happened last night? I'm too scared to get out of bed and see the destruction.
First of all, check to see if that naked guy is still alive. He didn't look to be breathing when I left
Don't worry about us we're making Mac and cheese
MAC AND CHEESE ABORTED, WE HAD FIRE
But like, I don't remember getting hit with the door... I just come out from peeing and there was blood running down my face.
Was that before, or after strip tac toe.....
Randomize
