It's always exciting to touch a new boob.
whispering "taste the rainbow" well having sex isn't my biggest turn on.
I miss your penis. And I totally say this as a friend. I just miss it because it's great. You should be very proud of it.
Sandwiches are there for you when porn isn't.
Yeah well I used to see how many bud lights I could slam down during the pledge of allegiance, my record was 4, but I could do better now.
He gave me such a powerful orgasm I blurted out I love you. This is why just rebouding out of a serouis relationship is awkward.
fun fact #6 about tuesday nights: giving head with two 40s taped to your hands is not as easy as you would think
YOU CAN'T BASE A RELATIONSHIP OFF A PENIS
I LIKE HIS TONGUE TOO.
I see your walk of shame and raise you a day in jail wearing a girls old workout clothes.
I put ketchup in a girls hair last night. I need a sorry balloon
He's like a hurricane
a drunk, sexist, hurricane
I just fixed my mom's tv over the phone in 2.17 minutes while high. I'm a fucking professional.
i warned you not to do dabs 20 minutes before graduation. You never listen
As she came, she moaned Roll Tide. I kid you not.
Don’t get me wrong—I love silver and bracelets—but handcuffs are not a good look on me…
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