so i walk in and shes blowing her vag with a hair dryer. so i asked what she was doing, she said heating up supper.. come eat ;)
i'm so jealous of you right now.
i believe i can now do shots of gasoline with no chaser. its been that kind of summer.
Soup is not an acceptable meal before doing that many Jager bombs
remember that response paper i wrote naked, at 745am still drunk with a naked dude in my bed? yeah, totally got an a- on that. and he loved my insight.
Just so you know, if you are not feeling well today it's cause you drank a gatorade bottle full of highlighter fluid.
When I said to shut up, I meant it. I'm sorry you have a bald spot now, but it was necessary.
Considering adding a large amount of vodka to my tomato cup-a-soup at work. Save me.
Is it frowned upon to puke at Keeneland while you're betting on horses or is it just whatev
he wouldnt let me in bed until i took off all the stickers i was covered in
Wow. Last night.
I knew you were shit blasted when you called me your "sunflower queen"
Let's celebrate our freedom by getting high and doing stupid shit.
Two grav bong hits and a shower later and I'm ready for company
It's like you say things that speak to my soul on a deep personal level
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
I'm fairly sure I accidentally saw my dad naked last night
It seems that I didn’t convey clearly enough how well and truly fucked we are, Jack. Listen to me very closely: we are DEAD.
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