Now I'm watching The History of Sex on the History Channel. They're talking about how repressed the 30s were. I think I understand why grandma is such an angry person.
Halloween has nothing on dressing up as as the INS on cinco de mayo
my debit card account is gonna say movie, movie, ice cream, movie, cheese fries, get a fucking life, movie
He's really hot. I think he's gonna be my reason to shave this winter.
Last time I saw him the sun was coming up and he was asleep in the student wellness parking lot. For some reason people were peeing on him.
shit went down at the bar when this girl with 'morals' totally cock blocked a married guy. she actually kicked IN the bathroom door when they were fucking in there. then we all did shots.
Drunk me obviously wants to fuck up my life
It's like I have an arch nemesis, and it's me
So I had sex with a hook nosed, lisping masadonian last night.
Glad that degree in literature is paying off. Nice adjectives. Maybe set the bar a little higher though?
It's just great that Easter is on 4/20 this year. Now everyone can enjoy the Easter egg hunts. And being around my whole family.
I lost my bra at his grandma's house so there's that.
I may have unintentionally punched your cat twice but he's an asshole anyway.
in the middle of telling this chick to sober up i was shotgunning beers. im gonna be ab awsome nurse.
Where do you think black out memories go?
Into the dark abysmal abyss of the deepest, darkest part of your mind. It's obviously the bodies natural defense to protect you from witnessing the shit you do while actually blacked out.
Had a dick customer and the words "eat my ass" slipped out. He proceeded to lick his lips and say present it. I think it's time I quit.
It's officially "let him eat me out in a sundress with no panties" season. Needless to say the first date was a success.
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