I am not drunk. I will recite the pledge.
I don't want you to recite the pledge!
Pledge alligien to america to united states of america
no weekend plans? you're practically married
just without the last name or joint bank account
i'd advise against both
Public safety found my id!
And i can't find my bra so i'm assuming they found my bra with my id which would explain the disapproving tone the lady on the phone had.
I found out that all you need to write a 12 page paper is adderall and twizzlers
found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
I can't wait til my little brother reaches the point where puking doesn't mean we stop drinking
And apparently i asked another younger guy at the bar if he wanted his bud light pumped straight into his vag. As i put back an irish car bomb...
Marshall is naming all the elements of my face. I love science nerds.
We put your drunk ass to bed. 10 minutes later we heard you scream "DICK-PUNCH!!!" It was immediately followed by a shriek of pain and crying. So to answer your question; no, that's not "sex soreness".
I had jack at 8 am= instant drunk
Best day ever, my junk is bigger than Kate Uptons boyfriends. Yay for Fappening day!
COME TO THE TOP OF THE MOUNTAIN AND I WILL GIVE YOU MY SAGE ADVICE.
I can't come. It's so cold my uterine walls have frozen together like a cherry popsicle.
Steven and I talked about running for office again today. It's fucked that my 3 dream jobs are marijuana bakery owner, bar owner, and president.
Do you think Root Touch Up or Just for Men would work better on pubes?
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