so i saw this homeless guy this morning yelling at a pay phone like chewbacca.
That's what you get for being in filth-adelphia.
no, he's only a walking dick if he mans up. right about now he's just a walking transgender.
Woke up naked in another mans house. If that keeps happening, then I probably need to go gay. You know to make it ok.
Get out here. Doing shots with the delivery guy. Also, the food is here
Basically as long as the fan is pointed at my vagina i can cool off enough to sleep.
Yo I found your batman costume.... It was in my pool with a shitload of beer cans
So I'm sitting at my desk and Thunderstruck came on my iPod. I then proceeded to drink coffee every time I heard thunderstruck. Who says you don't remember anything from college?
My suggestion is that you just get high and set shit on fire
alicia just called me and talked to me in "the eternal language of the dinosaurs" and then kind of roared and gurgled. what kind of 4th of july are you guys having?
the boozy kind. is there any other?
She picked me up from the bar in her underwear.
Captain Morgan does not know self control. Nor does he teach it.
Is it weird to befriend your older alcoholic landlords?
I am witnessing a blind guy whip ass at beer pong
I don't know, all I remember is waking up at 4 in the morning to him going down on me.
He made me cum 3 times, then immediately after sex packed a bowl and passed it to me. Yeah.. I'll keep him.
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