You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
i have no concept of time, i feel my nose, and im seeing everything in bitty hexagons.
After you puked you called ur mom and told her you fucked on her bed, then u said "Have a good night mommy!" hung up and passed out on my couch
that would explain 17missed calls and 3 very angry voicemails from her
i don't really know how much tequila is too much
His concept of male bonding is doing lines in adjacent stalls.
I smell like I just crawled out of a bottle of champagne and landed on the floor of taco bueno.
You've slept with me you know how lazy I am in bed.
What's standard gratutity for someone having a miscarriage on stage at a strip club? It's important.
I'm concerned I'll look like a hooker on new years eve in this outfit
There are different standards on new years eve. To look like a hooker you literally need to be giving a guy head on the street while he's handing you cash.
She screams like she's just fallen out of a helicopter when she cums.
I just witnessed my first non cocain induced sunrise in five years.
Not my cup of tea
2 six inch heels, 3 big sangrias, no broken legs
The police officer that arrested me Friday night just bought me a shot
You left your phone here
Wait...
I just remembered something from last night. check your closet.
Randomize
