Is Jonathan Taylor Thomas a gay? I need you to google search it for me. Its important
no you cant smoke seaweed
Wearing the BK Crown on the throne while dropping the kids off at the pool? Yes, one of my life's goals. Win
Moms kinda upset I threw up in grandmas bedroom. I think ill stay in tonight.
Don't do anything you wouldn't want to explain to paramedics
But that's half the fun of it
is it cool if i crash at ur house this weekend again bro
yea dude but i wld bring a sleeping bag or something just in case. or u may just have to shack up with a woman or 2 cuz we hav 10 girls visiting/staying over at my house.
how did u manage to make sleeping with a bunch of girls sound like an inconvenience?
she broke my one feeling. seriously I think she broke my dick.
Walk of shame. Stopped at an estate sale on the way back to the house. Old lady pulled a condom wrapper of the back of my hoodie. beat that
Seriously can I go through one convo where masturbating doesn't come up
i gotta stop hooking up with people just to get to their dogs
I smell like a brewery and I have been drinking for 7 hours. This seems like a perfect time to tell my husband I want a divorce.
i need to get drunk because i'm an angry sober
She is still drunk from the night before, sitting here eating KFC mashed potatoes and drinking Arbor Mist before Anatomy lab.
I’m doing tequila shots with lesbians. This isn’t how I planned my night but I’m not complaining
PSA Do not blow dry your junk.
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