I just had teddy grams, ritz crackers, and twizzlers for dinner. Hello, end of the semester.
i convinced her i was a yoga teacher by showing her some warm-ups my high school track coach made up
she took her bra off and it was like the puppet strings had been dropped. her tits totally deflated.
I remember her trying to talk to me a few times after we broke up and I'd always change the subject to bagels.
Theres a fat guy wearing a speedo. Someone just got puked on, and didnt even react. Whats happening?
You basically told your boyfriend at the time you were going to shit in his hands.
And I meant every ounce of it.
IDK who she called, but some guy came into the party, flying drop kicked Joe said never again. She has to invite him around again.
I think we should bring back the casual nipple tassel
Hope I didn't wake u up but I woke up and there is a shirt, boxers, belt and jeans on my balcony, along with a naked guy who claimed to scale the building
Dude my body has gone into shock from not eating frozen pizza and chips. I've been shitting like Richard Simmons after a night out of twerking in a corn field
IM TRYING TO SAY GOODNIGHT STOP FOR LIKE FIVE SECONDS WITH THE DICK SUCKING
Would it kill us to punctuate. That last text took me 5 min to read
Apparently today is power bottom appreciation day
She shaved her vagina in my bed. Good night
I kept my extra Molly pill in my wallet in the change part, that's also where I keep my body jewelry while I'm working. The nose ring punctured the pill essentially coating itself in MDMA. My nose ring is back in my nose. This could be entertaining
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