We've reached that awkward stage of the relationship where he's in love with me when he's drunk, but sober him is still afraid of commitment.
all i wanted to do was something grown up. like go to applebees and drink.
Hmmm just stalked him and according to his facebook he wants "whatever he can get." obviously he'd be open to the idea.
Just caught my dad doing coke in my bathroom again. Guess whose getting a new car for christmasss.
So he says "my girlfriends coming over so you have to leave but I love you"
You will go out on a boat of flames filled with honor, sarcasm, and assholery, let me assure you.
He might not have any marketable talents, but the kid dry humps like no other.
We were high as balls fucking in the back seat when we saw the blue lights. He's like, "I got this" and walked over butt ass naked and goes, "Sorry dude, we're just banging" and the cop apologized for disturbing us and drove off.
He showed up riding a bike blasting the ghostbusters theme song. His name was Lasercat. Im in love.
Also, if asking a guy to come over and watch curling with you doesn't scream let's fuck then idk what does
reason #326 why I'm still single.... my date just told me there's a little boy ghost that lives in his closet because he likes his music.
After that time I came to the conclusion that jeeps are the best cars to have sex in
Fuck you. You were a total asshole last night.
We will get to that, but can anybody tell me whose fucking socks I am wearing?!
Why is no one on Snapchat tonight? I want to see other people having fun so I know it still exists.
I think I am just gonna marry that lesbian. She is more of a respectful gentleman than any of the guys I've slept with.
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