I made myself breakfast and everything and then whoever's house it actually was came downstairs very upset.
Even tho I saw his penis. He is still a really nice guy.
He booked us a hotel at a resort in cancun for sprng break... I just wanted to get laid this weekend when i was blackout i didnt know it was gonna spiral into a mess of events like a 5 month in advance commitment
well on a positive note i hear those vitamins you take while pregnant do wonders for your nails
No, I'm in the bathroom trying to scrub off the 16 tally marks on my wrist so its not so obviously to the world that I puked on a couch last night.
No more Raisinettes before sex. That's what happened. I just put it together
Oh my god I forgot there were Band-Aids on my nipples
Me and allie were just offered cocaine by a strange man in a women's bathroom. Why have I not lived in Austin my whole life?
Not only does DQ have s'mores shakes, sonic has a hot dog in a pretzel bun, and Wendy's has a burger in a pretzel bun. Important things are happening.
We had a moment of silence for all of the orgasms he gave me with his beard before he shaved it off.
Oh, and let me go get some popcorn, watching you make your own decisions should be quite the shitshow.
Remember that time you puked in the middle of wendy's?
Yeah, why?
The staff still remembers me for cleaning it up. Thanks for the free frosty and fries
maybe i should limp back to therapy...
oh yeah will you also bring home vodka i wanna do shots on the roof
learning about efficiency and effectiveness in an administration seminar. real world application: walking across the street to the pub on break to shotgun a beer.
I stopped telling people I'm a pansexual unless they ask first, really tired of explaining what that means.
Randomize
