i love rice pilaf. whoever invented that i would give them a hug.
The more I look at him the more I wonder why anyone would ever want any of his features to be a part of their childs face.
life is sad when you just turned 21 and youre doing late night rogaine runs...
Well we didn't hook up. Maybe from his girlfriend's point of view, but not mine.
seriously, i am too high for the omelet station to be playing Being For The Benefit Of Mr Kite at 7am
ill give you the fast version. Hooked up with 17 year old coworker while housestting for my boss
You should try cooking mac & cheese naked sometime. It's quite relaxing.
I still have a scar from the last time she gave me a handjob. There is NO WAY i'll stick my dick anywhere near her again
Seriously. We gorilla glued our hands together. Eating pizza last night was impossible.
I started dipping tositos in my screwdriver last night
then apparently I went "not bad" and continued
Mom got high last night and started crying because she feels bad for Paula Deen. This is my family.
Shaving your bikini line at 11 at night in the Walmart bathroom feels trashy no matter why you're doing it.
So, my eyeglasses somehow ended up in my nightstand drawer and they're covered in lube.
I'm literally naked with a whole pizza in my lap sitting in my chair.
She was sitting on the couch in his tux jacket...no pants, eating cold vegetable lasagna. Yet I'm the weirdo?
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