His internet history had "Disney Porn" on it.
I think the fact that my first kiss is now in a porno says a lot about why my life is the way it is
Sonogram pictures belong on a fucking fridge...NOT FACEBOOK!!
oh my god, there is an imprint from the nuva ring in the christmas card my mom sent me. merry christmas.
There r osticjed everywhere
Not only was there cake on the wall but someone shoved cake and meat in a cup and put it in the fridge.
Pack light, we're going straight to bar from the train. No place to put our shit.
Dude all I'm bringing is my dick and a phone charger.
Ack! That is the first dick pic I've ever received. A) congrats B) that is way grosser than I ever thought t would be.
Laying on a pile of just out of the dryer clothes because this is NOT real life.
I have what looks like a rubber stamp mark on my cock from last night that says "Magic Marla Approved" Do we know a Marla?
I immediately woke up from my nap, made myself a screwdriver and got in the shower. I know it's spring break but I'm still questioning my life choices.
I mean it could have been worse, I could have been sober.
It's gonna be like a sexual version of A Christmas Carol in my house in a few days.
Was the guy in the cowboy hat kinda hot or have I just not had sex in a really long time?
Dude. $3 Jack n Cokes AND Cheesesticks... Find me tomorrow plz
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