That's your vagina. No one goes out and burns it
Haha na a cat just ran under your car. Howd that happen?
Probably a woman cat. Doesnt think things through
47 days without vaginal penetration. Im pretty sure it's grown over.
Do you realize that if your cunt was a missing person it would be assumed dead?
walking through the french quarter. a homeless guy just offered me a pigeon. gotta love new orleans.
I just learned you can mail a coconut. I'll be over in 3 days with the rum.
he yelled at me for calling the fat girl fat. if I can't call out fat girls to my brother who do i have?
Just saw a field sobriety test being administered at 730 am, I now know I do not have a drinking problem
Great. I get laid, Leslie Nielsen dies. I can't have have sex anymore, the film community can't take another loss like this.
The fact that he grabbed my boob in the middle of the conversation shows something needs to change
I'm still tasting pancake mix. I think this may actually be a serious medical problem...
He was so good, that I'm pretty sure he fucked his religion into me. P.S. I'm Jewish now.
Someone put a huge skyy vodka bottle in our washing machine. My roommate didn't see it and ran it. The washing machine split in two. #life
You slapped my ass and yelled "HOOTY TOOTY WHAT A BOOTY" in a Schwarzenegger voice
If we try hard enough and believe in ourselves, we can still make it to Wendy's before they close
I don't know where I keep finding these guys, but mi power bottoms es su power bottoms.
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