that john and kate plus 8 dude has ruined asians for me
shes the kind of girl i dont like to talk to unless my penis is in her mouth.
i have one hour to talk myself into enjoying giving him a blow job when i get home
Wow... that's disturbing man, and their not even my balls
you tipped EVERY employee at white castle
I had to jump out of her car while it was moving enough said
I've always wanted to pass out in a bathtub
I think most people do. Your only real mistake was turning the water on first.
Also I had a dream we made my birth control into a joint. What does that mean?
I puked up my nose. THAT kind of night
Aw don't be embarrassed. It was all good fun! We've all been there. You can't come to vegas and NOT get a little alcohol poisoning. That's like going to church and not praying.
I really want some funfetti cake but I feel like its more socially acceptable to go out and drink
I like how you were offering me $50 last night to come home with you to take care of you and your dog
I HAD TO PAY A COVER FOR THE FIRST TIME LAST NIGHT. My tits didn't get me in and I was so pissed.
I just brought her a lipstick taser. So just remember that the next time you get smart with her
Taking one of the loudest shits ever at work and I have to say...I'm having a better time than I thought I would
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